Cast: Aditya Roy Kapur, Sanjana Sanghi, Prakash Raj, Jackie Shroff, and ensemble.

Director: Kapil Verma.

BOTTOM LINE UP FRONT

An ace soldier who has led some of the most successful missions for the Indian Army, Om is on a mission to also clear his dad off the traitor tag. Just as he reaches a step closer to his personal mission, he is shot in the head, and loses his memory.

Six months later, he wakes up from a coma with only one memory — his younger self watching his dad (Jackie Shroff) supposedly die in a burning house. With parts of his memory, Kavya (Sanjana Sanghi) manages to help him find his house and his life starts to unfold. Om was not born with the identity he supposedly had but he was previously known as Rishi before he was eventually adopted by his uncle and aunt who had named him Om after they lost their own child with that name.

While he grapples with his lost memory, he realizes that there is a bigger storm growing. A ‘Rashtra Kavach’ (A National Shield ) that his father was building has been stolen and is now in the wrong hands and it is his duty to retrieve the device.

THE MEAT AND THE POTATOES

After  Nikamma , Dhakkad, Heropanti 2 who could have thought that another movie could beat them to who can be the bottom of the barrel list. Meet Rastra Kavach. Just Made it.

We always tell you that we watch it, so you do not have to. We wish we also did not have to watch this one.

It seemed as if no one wrote this script. As If they would just wake up in the morning and scribble the plot at the back of a napkin. Who are the shameless people who took credit for “writing “this then?  What they actually did was sequence action shots within an incomprehensible plot.

IN THE KNOW

Niket Pandey and Raj Saluja probably smoked something strong to come up with the continuity of the plot because we couldn’t find it.

The story does not make sense, the triggers are hopeless, the characters have no arcs and the twists have no surprise.

People forget their characters. After they are shot, they even forget what their professions are. Aditya Roy Kapur is the only dude who remembers everything and he is the one who is supposed to have lost his memory in the plot.

We are not able to even figure out where the movie location is  geographically. Characters appear and disappear suddenly in undisclosed locations, as if we know where the last ones were. If that isn’t enough, Aditya’s character Om is given a trajectory of having two fathers and a very tragic story of how he got his names but that has literally no impact on his world apart from creating a villain. And it could have been okay if he was not written as his father.

Aditya then pulls down choppers alone with a bullet inside his skull and no memory of anything.

A man literally gets up from a coma and  fights 10 men and breaks furniture like he in Transporter training while in a coma metaverse only to hit the ground running.

The only memory Johnny Bravo has is of when he was 10, but he has not sense of bewilderment about any other thing in his life including the shape of his body or the people around him.

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Then just like that his memory comes back and he flaps a master plan while the mutual fund Voice Over type  doctor announces his memory couldn’t be reversed ever.

Nothing made sense in Kavatch Universe then or ever. But at that point our heads hurt.

Aditya Roy Kapur plays THE ‘only man who can save a country’ character.

His face, body, and the chisel is far too much hard work to deserve this crap.

Sanjana Sanghi gets to play another “why is she even there” woman in a film. She enters the frame in a setup that looks like a lingerie model and then moves into the nurse, doctor and then a special task force agent garb – doing all of that while shooting herself in the heart in a blonde moment and then resurrecting herself like she was a Barbie in a gameplay,

Ashutosh Rana plays the most incompetent father of the Hindi film industry as Prakash Raj must remind him that Om is son at one point. His reaction to his son coming out of a coma is a blank face. It is as if he had given up on the movie much before, we did. Smart guy.

Prakash Raj forgets that he is an army officer in the final scene and that he can combat. It seems like he got a memo from the script of some other movie to play another character in that scene.

Kapil Verma only shoots the action sequences and the gaping loopholes in the script is when he kinda disappears. The CGI is as pathetic as the cinematography, and it seems the tea boy wrote the dialogues.

We said enough. Head hurts.